Do you prefer to be passive in intimacy? And why do some men wonder why their intimate partners don’t deliver quality intimacy either? I invite you to discover the answers.

‘Passive in intimacy’ has two meanings
One meaning is when a man prefers a woman to take charge in intimate matters, but actively participates when she does. Another meaning is what inspired this article. All will be released…

Passive breeds passivity
Some men always want their intimate partners to enjoy intimacy with them. And there will always be men who prefer to lie there and take what their intimate partner gives. The men with the passive attitude will operate on the axiom that “I’m paying, you entertain me” if they’re intimate with a woman whom they paid presumably for it. Or “you’re a woman, so seduce me.” But how do they expect to be given the connection, warmth, feeling they crave if they’re not prepared to give the same?

We are all receptive to nonverbal communication. If you convey a positive message with words but a negative one with the body, another person will always take the message of the body. You would too if you were on the receiving end of something similar. So how does your communication contribute to the quality of your intimacy? Especially if you be passive in intimacy? Consider men who think that their intimate partner should entertain them because they’re paying or in whatever context. What energy do they send? How does that affect the response that they get? How would you feel and respond if another person gave you that attitude?

You would intuitively feel it.
If someone tells us nonsense, we know just like we know if someone tells us sense. Every time we communicate we release subtle energies. So be careful about what energy you radiate, because you’ll get it back. Examples of this are: if you’re having a conversation with another person, you know if the conversation is “landing” well. And you also know when you have an inflexible communicator! How do you know? 

Intuitively – from your partner’s nonverbal and then verbal responses. So if you’re planning to stay passive in intimacy, this energy will hang in the air. Your partner will get the message and most likely be put off and act that way or similarly. 

Being passive in intimacy works both ways
The principle is simple, yet there’re many [generally unhappy] men who don’t grasp it. Why are theyunhappy? Because they come across this passive attitude from others. But these men do not realize that they’re its source – until someone tells them! Taking is nice, giving is nicer. If we take all the time, we end up with heaps of stuff, yet emptiness at heart, because the stuff will lose value and we’ll start searching for the next taking… But we’ll never run away from the emptiness at heart. The only way to break the circle and get fulfilled is by giving some of ourselves to others. 

If you give, your intimate partner will give more
Because if you do something nice, you’ll feel more loving toward the world around you. The virtuous circle will begin – others will start accepting and loving you too. Verbal and nonverbal [even intimate] communication will start flowing. Happiness will start flooding your body and heart. And you’ll never have a dull encounter again! You’ll exude more attractive energy which will attract similar partners. So start giving – and you’ll start receiving! And if you’re feeling shaky, take my hand…

What are the most frequent critical mistakes that men can avoid when selecting a companion?

1. Men don’t care who they go with 
Impatience, desperation, frustration, exhaustion, resignation, long-term suppression of pleasure, influence of substances, or various combinations thereof can drive this one. Hence when the urges hit, these men want a companion or “entertainer” immediately. So they dial several numbers and wait who responds… The danger of this approach is that men will end up selecting an unsuitable companion or “entertainer” who will care about her interest and treat them accordingly…. A vicious circle hence begins: men pay high amounts for awkward fake(d) “pleasure”. Then they get frustrated and repeat the mistake… 

Years go by and cut the precious time these men have on the planet… How is that fun? Wouldn’t selecting a companion or “entertainer” who had all the traits of your dreams be more fun? Look at it this way: if a woman called you and didn’t even know who she was talking to and where she saw your number, what message would she send? That she doesn’t care about who she goes with. And if she doesn’t care, why should you care? The message is subtle, but powerful and profoundly disrespectful. Does the fact that she’s paying entitle her to disrespect? If it does, will disrespect breed respect?

2, Men don’t do their research when selecting a companion
Many men don’t even remember where they see the details of the women they call. Again, impulsive behaviour. Let’s feel good. Who cares about research? Let’s have fun right now – often also in a state altered by alcohol, drugs, or both. That state is certainly not conducive to research. But if you don’t do your research, how do you know what you’re signing up for? Associating with the wrong person could have tragic – at worst even lethal – consequences for your health, career, family, life… 

Another benefit of researching the companion whose pictures you liked in an ad is that you know what you can expect. You know what you will get for your money. And you won’t put yourself in an awkward position. 

Plus you’ll come across as much more respectful if you show that you’ve made an informed choice! Planning prevents poor performance. Investing a few minutes in research of the pretty woman in the picture that has caught your eye will pay you higher dividends than will be the amount you lose on her fee. I also recommend that you read this article – its gist is related to this topic. 

3. Men don’t know what they want
This one may sound crazy, but is the most common. Even men who care about who they go with and do their research often do not know what they want from a companion. Or even why they’re looking for one. Think about it: do you have clear criteria for selecting a companion? Do you know what you want from her and your relationship with her? 

What’s your goal of wanting to engage with a companion or other type of “entertainer”? To feed your ego? To blunt the emptiness in your life from which you can’t hide? Perhaps to deflect your anger at something or someone? To prove to yourself that money can buy you pleasure? Or to celebrate life and its finer moments? Or even to have a stable consistent companion / perhaps lover / friend whom you can entrust things that your family and friends shouldn’t hear? What do you want her to do and be for you? Get this clear – perhaps even on paper. You will focus on selecting the right person. Not leaving it to chance.

Men who make these mistakes when selecting a companion
congregate in the highest number in the low rungs of the industry. But there’s plenty of room for improvement in the high rungs too. If all men who are in my circle of friends can have been selective about their companion, so can you – if you’re one of the men who need to learn this lesson. 

The added benefit of caring, doing your research, and knowing what you want is that your companion or partner in fun will view you as an intelligent being worthy of her time and NRG. Hence your relationship will begin on good footing. And you should do all three things! After all, aren’t you buying some connection which should be far more intimate than are all other connections with all other people in your life? 

I’m happy to help you get clear about what you want, why you should care who you go with, and how to do your research before you go with them. 

To find a companion can be as exhausting as dating, and perhaps even more so. This is because the prevailing attitude is that because you’re paying, you expect to get the perfect person and experience and the person whom you pay will be perfect on demand. If the person and experience do not turn out to be perfect, isn’t that upsetting? So how can you, the searching man, shorten the costly process of trial and error? And how can you learn to prevent getting it wrong more times than getting it right? 

When you go shopping 
for any high cost item, such as a car, house, yacht, or jet, you won’t buy the first one you find without looking at the specs. You’ll know what features you want the item to have. You’ll then do thorough research and certainly question the salesman accordingly. So why not apply the same principle to find a companion for your special moments? A companion can cost just as much as cars, houses, yachts, or jets in the long term. And if a man buys an item with specs that make the item right for him, it makes sense to apply the same principle to find a companion. Isn’t the interpersonal dynamic just as important, especially if a man wishes to get intimate with his companion?

Acting on impulse can be dangerous
I often wonder how men can be courageous enough to make their choices based solely on instinctual impulse rather than on a combination of instinct and informed decision in this age of scams, conartistry, and ripoff worldwide in every sphere of life – especially in that of companionship! If I were to look for any item, I’d definitely read the ad, product description, and do thorough research on the service and its sellers.

But the vast majority of men doesn’t pay attention to what women say about themselves in directory listings and on their websites. This lack of attention can be even more insidious, because if a man doesn’t care about who he goes with, he can get into dangerous situations. After all, you don’t know who you’re about to engage with! Is she an addict to something? Is she trafficked? Does she even know that her ad is on the listing where you saw it? Or has her pimp listed her without her knowledge? Do you want to finance human trafficking?

How can men find a companion instead of a disaster?
NEVER assume from experience that every companion’s website has empty promises. A handful are very informative and written with the essence of this article in mind! The challenge is to find them.
Always be present in the moment when you find a directory listing you like. Sharpen your senses, focus on the listing, and read what it states when you’ve finished admiring the pictures. Then evaluate the information and start asking for additional information.
Write things down. Visual information is the most reliable!
Find a companion and stick with her
The benefit = you’ll be able to choose exactly who and what you want and what and why you don’t. Happy searching! Practise on my website – and you can always let me know how you got on!

If men need to improve their intimate life, it’s clear feedback reflecting something they’ve been doing to this moment. The quality of a man’s intimate life won’t improve unless he acts to improve it. Placing the responsibility of improving it on others won’t get any man anywhere either. So no excuse – one has to work to reap rewards. Here’re 19 ways to do so. Your doctor won’t tell you them and they don’t cost anything. So try them – you’ll lose nothing and gain plenty!

1. If you are feeling miserably or depressed, 
check your eye line. Where are you looking? If you’re looking down which is where your feelings are, hold your head level and raise your eyes to the sky. Things will be looking up, so you will lose many negative emotions, and may even start to laugh! Hence it’s the cheapest and healthiest form of antidepressants and certainly worth a try. 

2. If you are annoyed, upset, triggered by a bad experience,
think ‘what can I learn from it’? It will certainly be something positive. And if you really learn it, you may not have to experience the same or similar bad event again. Instead you will restart the learning.

3. If you have a thousand things going through the head
at once, imagine the soles of your feet growing roots like a tree. Let all that stuff drain off into the earth. With a little practice you will feel relief in your head. 

4. If you believe that you can do something
or likewise if you believe that you can’t, you will be right either way. What you believe you will achieve! So choose carefully. 

5. Do you often get headaches? 
Sit quietly and ask the headache what it is trying to tell you. The message is often very simple: water, fresh air, less panic. Hence think how you can help yourself and notice what happens to the headache. Regular head massage will help you prevent more headaches.

6. Grounding – another way for men to improve intimate life
Backache in the base of the spine and buttocks is a particularly common place to feel pain when you are not grounded. Sit upright in a chair and imagine the pain descending through the chair into the ground and down into the the earth. If you can let go of it like this, it isn’t anything more serious. And regular massage is also magical in the long term!

7. Use your imagination 
for all the great things you will do this week, month, season, year. Get clear pictures, sounds, and feelings together to really focus you on success. Men do this exceptionally well in the context of sex. 

8. Work and socialise with people
who inspire you, whom you have fun with and respect for. Because life is too short not to do so.

9. Men with open minds improve intimate life by far
Minds are like parachutes – they only function when they are open. And the fear of something is far worse than the thing itself.

10. How loud is your inner critic?
You can spend so long beating yourself up after making a mistake and feeling terribly about it that you don’t have the energy to step back, learn from it, and move on. However bad the situation, there is always learning which you can draw from it.

11. If an event distresses you,
clear the energy from this memory. It really works. Clearing your energy for just 10 minutes a day will change your life. And if you don’t know how to clear the energy, ask me. 

12. Men who notice successes improve their intimate life
So notice successes instead of glossing over them. Start noticing what works, congratulate yourself, and see how you can do more. This will attract more success.

13. Successful Olympians
don’t think about the goal, only about the process they need to follow to get there. For some of the most successful ones the medal comes as almost a surprise. This may also have an impact on traditional goal setting! Even for men who don’t like setting goals. Those men will definitely be interested only in the process of getting to success.

14. Have you missed the sunshine for a long time
and not had the usual fill of energy? You may well be right, but everyone can make the most of whatever sunshine there is. Don’t damage your skin. Just remember that a solar panel keeps going all year, and we could think of ourselves as mobile solar panels. You can use your imagination to see a golden ball of energy drifting down onto the top of your head and feel it filling you up with lovely warmth.

15. Men who smile improve intimate life automatically
and is irresistible! The natural reaction to a smile results in movement of positive energy that replaces the negative pockets holding souls captive. Plus, men who live life with a smile improve their intimate life by half just by smiling itself. They’ll be a delight to be around.

16. When you are ill, 
check out what you are telling yourself. If you keep telling yourself how bad it is, it will stay that bad. Likewise, if you imagine what it will be like when you are healthy and grateful for the tiny improvements you notice, you will certainly get what you imagine.

17. If you can’t sleep,
get up, put your feet firmly on the floor, ground yourself, drink a glass of water, return to bed, and RELAX. Concentrate fully on relaxing every part of your body and mind. Just let it sink into the bed…

18. See what happens 
if you suspend judgement on something. It is just an event, therefore you don’t have to judge whether it is good or bad. It is just something that is happening.

19. Where do you draw energy from? 
Here are 4 environments for different energies: forest, sea, mountain, and desert. Which one energizes you? Is there also one that drains your energy? Which ones resonate with you? There are also subenergies, e.g. the river, the lake, the waterfall to the sea.

The forest is full of life. Trees are some of the greatest spiritual living energies on the planet. The forest is safe and encompassing. It is a shelter, food, and nutrition. The forest breathes as we breathe. It is a connected and also fragile place. Trees are very grounded deeply into the soil to offer great stability.

The sea is constant flow. Movement and stillness, yin and yang, turmoil and peace. The sea has an ambience. On the surface it looks like nothing is happening. Beneath the surface there is teeming life.

The mountains represent strength. They are very old. They have endured much of what has happened on this planet. The tops of mountains are places of great wind, vision, and inspiration. You can see from them for miles and people meditate on tops of mountains for long periods of time.

The desert is empty, yet full of life. The desert is space, it is clear. It certainly has life, but you have to search for it. You can survive because the resources are everywhere. The desert is clear air.

Place yourself in your favourite energy and give yourself the time to absorb everything that the energy delivers to you. Climb a mountain, walk in a forest, swim in a sea, or walk in a desert (at least in your mind). You will receive the advice or resources you need. They might even lead you to me!

All men can improve their intimate life
Some can do it alone, others with a little help of someone with more different perspectives. That’s how I add value to men’s lives. And that’s how I can add value to yours. And that’s how you will add value to your relationships. Would you like me to? Tell me how.