Different folks, different strokes. Those of you who travel a lot or live abroad know this adage well. It applies to every aspect of life. And high end companionship is no exception. How do men from different cultures understand the concept of high end companionship? And how do cultural differences reflect in men’s understanding of high end companionship?

The concept of companionship
as a formalized activity of entertainment hails from the U.S. American men therefore generally understand it as what it is – the company of another person. Whether the company of another person will include intimacy is not the main interest of the American man who seeks company. He wants to spend time with a person with whom he can connect, talk, and do things. And if intimacy happens, it can only be a pleasant bonus. Of course, no man will say no to intimacy if the opportunity arises. But the American man will not protest against paying for companionship without intimacy as long as he feels that he will connect with the person.

Canadian men’s
main interest is generally the same. And since Canada is the USA’s neighbour, it is hardly surprising that the cultural differences are small. Of course, Canada is between the U.S. and Britain, so more and more Canadian men secretly expect that intimacy will be involved. But it still isn’t thei focus in seeking high end companionship. So if intimacy isn’t involved, they generally don’t protest.

Contrastingly, the cultural differences of British men’s understanding of companionship
are marked. British men understand companionship as prostitution. Interestingly, even British born men who have lived abroad – even the USA or Canada – for decades still harbour this understanding. Perhaps they do so as if to reflect loyalties to their country of birth.:) British men place little value on the company of another person. They rather boldly ask first about what sexual services they will get for his money. British men see the value of another person’s company, conversation, and presence for sharing experiences as a waste of money. Why pay a companion when they can do those things with friends? The free interchange of companionship with prostitution is also easy to see in British films. Many films feature prostitutes as leading or important characters.

Men from some other countries of the former British empire
understand high end companionship the same way as British men, but will do their best to mask it.:) India is a good example of these countries.

Scandinavian and Continental men
understand companionship the same way as do British men. They have Germany’s influence on all things sexual to thank for that.:)

Men from the Middle Eastern countries
understand the concept of companionship similarly to British men. But due to their cultures restrictive of everything sexual there’s no wonder that they seek the forbidden fruits of sweet sexual delights in western countries. Isn’t that understandable?

Japanese and Malaysian men
understand companionship similarly to the Americans and Canadians, though with an even greater respect for and interest in their companions. 

Australian men
understand the concept of companionship the same way as the Brits, but add far more of a party spirit. They go into their moments with a companion with the attitude of celebration, not desperation. After all, even prostitution is legal in Australia… So if they don’t make a big deal of prostitution, why should they make a big deal about companionship?

And to complete the trip around the world,
Latinos understand high end companionship more like the Brits, though apply a different kind of party spirit. That of worry-free, pot-smoking relaxation in the sun by the sea with music, drinks, or sensual dance… and intimacy if they can get it.:)

Yet the cultural differences of men’s understanding of companionship
stem from a simple fact. Companionship is not the same thing as prostitution. A prostitute sells sex. A companion sells time and company and operates only in the high end of the market. Women who sell sex, operate in the lower rungs of the market, and advertise as companions to mask selling sex call themselves escorts. Yet even this is confusing, because escort means the same thing as companion. But prostitutes hijacked the term escort because to be an escort is legal, but to be a prostitute is not legal everywhere.

It is clear that the British influence is strong here. That’s hardly surprising, as history has a lot to say for it. And we make history. So if these cultural differences in understanding companionship change over the years of my lifetime, I’ll update this article. Just like I update all articles on my blog as something of value to add to them comes to mind. In the meantime if you can add to this account of the cultural differences in men’s understanding of companionship or want company, let’s talk.

Would you sleep without me? Sleeping with me would keep you awake! And keeping awake is what people in today’s at least western society certainly do way too much of – to the cost of their health, productivity, and quality of life. Do you sleep enough? Or do you cast this beautiful gift down the priorities list?

This society lives in constant sleep deprivation.
And getting it to sleep more requires serious work. Paradoxically, even though people are sufficiently educated about the adverse effects of sleeping too little, most don’t seem to notice… And when things start going wrong with them, most hardly look for the cause in not sleeping enough.

Sleep deprivation signals to us by making us feel burnt out.
There’re people who think that burnout is essential for achievement and success. And as man is excellent at adapting, those people get so used to burnout that they’re not aware that they’re exhausted. That makes being tired the new norm. Some people view sleep as boring. Hence to them sleeping little is an act of pride – they say ‘we don’t need to sleep!’. But there’s huge economic cost to not sleeping enough. We think that we sacrifice sleeping for productivity, but we lose productivity to sickness, weakness, health risks listed below, and poorer mental capacity. People’s addiction to technology doesn’t help either – people find it harder to pick a time to disconnect and go to sleep,

But we’re not machines – we cannot minimize downtime.
Most of us need 7 to 9 hours of sleep. Everyone has an optimal length of sleeping time. Transition to sleep also affects its quality. If we wake up at night, there’s no need to stress about it. Segmented sleep is absolutely normal. But if we don’t slow our brains down before sleeping, they will activate immediately on waking up. If you wake up at night, ground yourself on your feet, have a drink of water, and do not go to technological devices nor any other work. Enjoy the calmness of the night and the fact that you have time to relax and meditate with no limit.

If you don’t start sleeping enough, you may:
be susceptible to virueses
be susceptible to inflammation
get Alzheimer’s – the lymphatic system of our brains functions best in sleep = toxins are washed away. No sleep = toxins accumulate in braincells = toxic buildup is associated with Alzheimer’s
get fat. Lack of sleep affects fat control. Sleep deprived people set the alarm to go to the gym = the worst thing they can do, because a sleep deprived body releases hormones that crave sugar and carbs – the things we don’t want to eat a lot of when maintaining low body fat. Keep sleeping and exercise in equal balance.
get diabetes – connected to obesity
get stress – hypertension – heart disease
not be able to process simple info
get outbursts of anger
get mood swings
have a problem getting your joystick to rise to the occasion.
Many corporate executives don’t sleep enough
due to their workload, addiction to technological devices, and desire to play as hard as they work. But the trend is – slowly – changing. Many CEOs say that they need 8 hours to be the most effective. Airlines and the hotel industry compete who gives the best sleeping experience. The U.S. and NZ allow advertising sleeping aids which keep us awake while sleep deprived and do things we don’t fully or at all know we do… How sick is that? Chronic use of sleeping pills damages health. Nature certainly didn’t design the human body to eat pills of chemicals.

Every man can dramatically improve
his health, productivity, and quality of life by this simple resource freely available to all of us – sleep. Change your mindset about it, then change your habits.

Sleep in a dark room. Darkness makes the body excrete melatonin essential for its repair.
Sleep in a quiet room. Silence soothes and heals.
Don’t have electronic devices in the sleeping room. They emit electromagnetic waves which are bad for us and our energy fields.
Clear your energy field before sleeping – it will help you fall asleep and sleep better.
Don’t read books, watch TV, nor use mobile devices in bed. If you do, you confuse the brain: it knows that it’s in bed, thus thinks it should go to sleep, yet you’re making it concentrate. Therefore the brain finds it hard to slow down and switch off.
Use your bed only for making love and sleeping. Create a sleeping ritual – it will set a marking line for the brain between day and night.
If you haven’t slept well, nap during the day asap. It will help you recharge.
Start sleeping enough
– be happier, more focused, calmer, more productive, healthier, thinner, more attractive, more grounded, emotionally stable, more fun to be around. Some good coaching can start you on this track. Would you like to talk about it?

One of the prevalent reasons why I send nine out of ten men who approach me elsewhere is that I quickly discover that our union would highly likely end in a disaster because of their unrealistic expectations. Here I list the most common unrealistic expectations that I’ve come across. I do it so that if you have them you can work them out before hiring your next companion or “escort”. [Yes, in today’s world these two words certainly have a different meaning. Hence escort is in inverted commas.]. 

The 3 most common unrealistic expectations are:
1. Companion, partner, or wife?
If you’re looking for a partner or wife, don’t surf sites of companions or “escorts”. Albeit a life partnership with a companion or woman in other roles can develop in one in a million cases, it’s not realistic to expect that it will happen to you. Plus you’ll be wasting time, because you’ll be looking for the wrong things in the wrong places. If you go into a relationship with a companion with the mindset of looking for a partner / wife, your mindset and outlook will be incompatible from the start. And that will bring bad vibes between you and the woman you approach. 99% of companions are in it for the money and you need to be realistic about that. Taking a second perspective may help. If you sold your time or body, would you welcome someone approaching you with the mindset of getting it for nothing?

2. I can’t afford a whole night…
So you’d normally see her for a few hours and tell her how much you’d like to spend a night with her. But you can’t afford the whole night? You’ll do better if you keep that fact to yourself. 1. it cheapens your image. Claiming poverty sounds unbelievable from a man who has money for seeing companions. 2. You’re making yourself sound unrealistic right away. Actions speak louder than words. And people are consistent in their actions. If you normally see her for a few hours, the likelihood that you’ll see her for a night is low. You’re not that extreme! So say what you mean. And say things that are realistic if you don’t want to sound ridiculous and erode the dynamic in your relationship with her.

3. I want someone nice, but can’t really afford you…
Realize that if you pay peanuts, you’ll get monkeys – you won’t get nice for next to nothing. Cheap is cheap for good reasons. Good isn’t cheap. Also bear in mind that even if you can afford higher fees, there’s equally no guarantee that women who charge them will be nice. The world doesn’t work that way. Your best bet is to do your research, apply your intuition, and evaluate whether stretching to x more money will be a welcome investment if your intuition tells you that the owner of the website captures your interest.

The saddest thing about unrealistic expectations
usually is that if men have them in one area of life, they’ll also have them in other areas of life. As I said above, people are consistent in their actions. But there is always a solution – if we care to find it. Getting some good coaching is one. And it will also help you in many other areas of life. Hence I’ll be happy to help – without stigma and embarrassment for you if you decide to get it!

Although massage is generally enormously beneficial and certainly a great pleasure when done well, there are occasions when you should not have it. What are those occasions? 

You should certainly not have massage when you have:
any serious medical condition. It’s best to ask your doctor(s) if they allow it.
a high temperature
an infection or contagious disease
swelling, acute inflammation, bruising
an open wound, recent scar tissue, skin infection, weeping skin condition, broken skin, and also rash
acute back pain, especially if the pain shoots down the arms or legs when you’re massaging the back or neck
undiagnosed lumps
varicose veins, swelling of the veins, proneness to blood clots. Thrombosis can be difficult to recognise because symptoms vary from person to person. Therefore show caution if you feel a vague ache in one leg and go see a doctor.
When you’re in such a rush that you know you wouldn’t be able to enjoy a massage. Quality takes time.
If you have allergies and the masseuse doesn’t ask you whether you have any because she’s lousy or something else in disguise of a masseuse, tell her what you have allergies to. This is important, as she should avoid essential oils that could trigger the allergies.

Other things that may interest you
And if you stumbled across this article and can have massage but don’t know what type of it would be good for you, this article will be handy. I’m qualified in all 8 types described in it.

Why are the benefits of massage far better than artificial sex with strangers who care only about your cash?

And what are the 4 much less obvious benefits of massage?

Also, is it better for you to go to an independent masseuse or a massage clinic or parlour?

Would you like to ask something else? Let’s talk about it.

Have you ever noticed that some people have your immediate respect while others do not? And have you observed that some people have great ideas but nothing happens with them? Do you know people who say they will do something but never do it? Do you say that you’ll do something while you have no intention of doing it? Or do you often say that you’ll do things out of politeness, but know that you never will do them?

When we say that we’ll do something,
we create an expectation in our listeners. If I tell you that I’ll call you at a certain time, I’m setting you up to expect my call. If I say that I’ll call and have no intention to call while saying it, I’m false or too cowardly to tell things straight. I mean well, of course – I want to be polite because I can’t bring myself to tell you that I don’t want to call you…

But if I have no intention of calling, would I not be more polite and respectful if I didn’t say anything if I couldn’t bring myself to say that I wouldn’t call? If I tell you that I’ll call and don’t, I project the image that I’m not trustworthy. You cannot count on my word in future. I’m downgrading the weight of my word and placing myself in the crowd of sheeple who do the same thing. This may seem harsh, but if it describes your familiar habit, this article helps you to see its consequences. I used the example of calling you. Of course, this principle applies no matter what the action be.

What can you do to gain respect?
If you want to be credible and respected, only say that you will do something if you will really do it. Hold your breath and count to 10 before speaking out impulse-driven sentences that others will take as your word of commitment. Make this a rule and follow it. If you have to miss a deadline, communicate a new deadline as soon as possible. This will earn you a lot of respect and trust from everyone.

Details and the big picture
Successful people identify where to place the attention. People often get lost in the details when making decisions and lose sight of the larger stakes. In our context the larger stakes are that if you don’t do what you say you’ll do, you lose respect, trust, credibility.

Options and procedures
When people focus on options, alternatives, and possibilities, they struggle to complete commitments. These folks tend to be very creative, but often do not follow through what they say they will do. If someone prefers a step by step process when he does things, that person is more likely to follow through commitments. Language such as “the next step, then, after that, process, how to get to the end goal” will highly likely indicate that the person is committed to doing what he said he would do. If you want to improve your ability to really do what you say, adopt a procedural mode. An easy way is to schedule in your calendar when you will call someone. And use the calendar to guide you.

Delegate: If you still suck at doing what you said you would do, hire someone and give them the task. Obviously, if your commitment was to call or make love to your partner, delegating this might lead to undesirable consequences. Lol.

The power of commitment contributes to respect
When you say that you’ll do something, you have power! Others trust and respect you. Because when you say it, others don’t yet know whether you will do it. But you get the things you want from life because you did what you said you would. Say only what you’ll do, do it, and achieve what you want every time. Or say that you won’t do something if you don’t want to do it. People will respect and admire your courage to say things straight. We all admire and appreciate honesty and directness from others. That’s a trait of strong characters. Do you want to be one?

If you do, why not start today?

Change of habits is not merely a matter of knowledge or skill. If that was true, then all information campaigns on how to improve your health would have made behaviour-related illnesses a thing of the past. We would all be slim and rich and teenage girls would not get pregnant. Sadly, many people fail to create lasting changes in their behaviours and repeat their failures again and again…

Have you ever tried to break bad habits?
The key to creating and maintaining behavioral change is in getting and staying motivated. Some people start lifestyle changes that last a few weeks at best. The attendance figures at health clubs in January and February show you the people who began very motivated and lost their passion. Other people wish they could do something, but never work up the motivation to begin. The title of comedian Totie Fields’ book I Think I’ll Start on Monday: The official 8 1/2oz Mashed Potato Diet sums it up. She also said: “I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks”.

Can crisis motivate change?
Conventional social work theory suggests that the highest potential for change is in crisis. This seems logical, since during a crisis nothing is normal and there is the opportunity to make important decisions about the future. Organizations often try to make radical shifts when they face financial or other disasters. But if crisis really is the highest potential time for change, then why do 90% of coronary bypass patients not make long-term changes to their behaviour after surgery?

Because breaking habits requires both short-term and long-term motivation strategies. 
When a crisis triggers someone to want to do something differently, it can be effective for the short term. This is motivation away from something, because the person is motivated to move away from a situation they do not want. An example: a person doesn’t like himself in the mirror, so decides to get slim. Motivation away from can get you started. The problem is that it loses power once you are on the way. How can you stay on track after the away from motivation has waned? In 2 ways: 1. to constantly remind yourself that you don’t want to be unhealthy or whatever. This takes a lot of work and the effects of maintaining a state of fear or disgust are unhealthy. 2. to add motivation towards something good.

Also bear in mind that…
Since motivation away from the bad is effective for short periods and most changes to behaviours and habits take longer, you need a mechanism to maintain motivation. You can do this when you have a goal that you strongly want to achieve to replace the problem you want to avoid. This goal representsmotivation toward something good. The motivation away from something bad can get you started and gives you a push. The motivation toward something good draws you closer to what you want.

This way you get the benefit of the push and the pull. The problem with having only motivation toward something good is that if you are beginning far from your goal, starting is demotivating. If your goal is to run a marathon and you get out of breath running for a bus, it is easier to put off running. If you only have motivation toward something good with nothing to kick you into action, you may procrastinate.

Reinforcement: habits are like water running downhill. 
Motivation away from x and toward y are not always enough. Habits are hard to kill. They are like water running downhill – it takes no effort to maintain a habit. Habits are rituals that you perform without thinking and are psychologically committed to. Sometimes they are formulas of stimulus-response. Sit in front of the TV – feel hungry – get food… A good system is easier to follow than not to follow. If you want something to become a habit, insert it into an existing procedure. To remember to take vitamins put them in front of the coffee pot instead of hiding them in the cupboard. Inserting the new behaviour into an existing procedure builds your new commitment into what you already do. When the new behaviour is part of a procedure that you effortlessly follow, it will reinforce and gradually become like water running downhill.

What you see is what you get. 
From research on quitting smoking researchers found that people were more successful at becoming nonsmokers if they could see the state they wanted to move away from and the state they wanted to move toward. Verbal affirmations are rarely compelling enough to trigger and maintain your motivation. But when you can see both what you want and what you don’t want, it becomes more real than merely telling yourself something. Imagine the idea of being at the right weight or level of fitness. It’s easier to imagine when you can see yourself in your favorite outfit or running 3 miles effortlessly.

Beliefs, values, and who you are contribute a great deal.
If you don’t believe that it’s possible to change bad habits, none of the motivational strategies will work. Look for an example where you have made a significant change. Notice that all the motivational strategies were present. If you could do that, why could you not do this? There is only one way to find out – how important the change is to you If it’s not frequently on your radar, perhaps you don’t care enough to make the shift. Why is changing this habit important to you? And why is that important? What kind of person believes that the change you want is worth pursuing? Is this the kind of person you want to be? How are you already like this?

When you have identified the beliefs, values, and identity that will enable you to imagine that this change is really possible, hold them in your heart and allow them to and spread throughout your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual self. Repeat this daily as part of your daily rituals until it feels natural.

Miracle cures are not motivation. 
Real change of behaviour is possible when you have the strategies to start and maintain motivation, when you can see what you want, have inserted the new behaviour into a ritual you do, believe it’s possible, value the new behaviour, and think of yourself as a person who does that. There’s no wonder why miracle cures don’t last!

This will help you break old and build new habits
Do you have a project for a change of behaviour that is important to you? Check by filling in the blanks whether you have all the motivation triggers in place.

Away from: I do not want ____________________________________.

Toward: what I want instead is ________________________________.

Negative consequences: if I don’t succeed, what will happen that I don’t want? _____________________________________________________.

Positive consequences: when I succeed, what will happen that I want?

_____________________________________________________

I can see/imagine an example of each of the above.

I have inserted this new habit into this procedure that I already do naturally.

_____________________________________________________

And I am regularly accountable to _______________ for completing my goal.

I believe that it is possible to do this because ______________________________________.

I have succeeded at something like this when I ___________________________.

This is important to me because ________________________________.

The kind of person who does this is ______________________________.

I am that kind of person because ________________________________.

And if you feel that sharing your experiences will help you,
I’m not a men’s coach for nothing! I’m always here to support you.

Valentine’s Day was established by papal decree in 496AD as a day to celebrate our intimate relationships with those we love most deeply. At that time it wasn’t connected with romantic love. In the high Middle Ages during the time of development of courtly love as a tradition Geoffrey Chaucer changed that. Since that time we see Valentine’s Day as a shorthand for what an intimate relationship or marriage should look like. Starry-eyed, blissful, sweet, easy, sexual, and everloving might describe our expectations of intimate relationships. But like most things in life, when we truly take a look, we see much more complexity…

This article will give you the opportunity
to examine and learn to improve the critical moods that make or break your intimate relationships. And you will be able to apply the learning to your relationships with lovers, companions, courtesans, etc. In every marriage and intimate relationship there are moods that serve building the relationship and those that have a deleterious effect. Moods are not inherently good or bad, but they either serve or restrict us in a particular situation. Here are some that we can distinguish more clearly in intimate relationships:

Compassion vs. pity
Compassion means being with another person in their pain. To pity is to see another person as needing us to pull them up to our level of understanding. In compassion we place ourselves on the same human level as our partner, while in pity we tend to look down on them and their plight. How many times have you opted for pity rather than compassion in your relationships? How often have you been tempted to believe that it was your job to fix your partner or their situation rather than simply stand with them and trust them to navigate life for themselves?

Service vs. sacrifice
Many of us grow up with the admonishment to help others. Some of us learn that the right way to be a partner is to take care of the other’s every wish and need. What we aren’t often taught is to pay attention to the point where those activities shift from service to sacrifice. In service we attend to others’ needs, but also to our own. In sacrifice we drain ourselves, sometimes to the point of illness. Sacrifice isn’t bad. Many heroic acts require sacrifice of all that we have, even life. Continual sacrifice in intimate relationships is not sustainable.

Acceptance vs. tolerance
An interesting thing happens in many intimate relationships. We fall in love with exactly who the other person is. And over time we discover that there are aspects of them we would like to change. That moment defines the shift from acceptance to tolerance. Acceptance is seeing and understanding another person as they are. It does not mean that we like or agree with all we see, but we do not try to change them. Tolerance is that we will put up with the way they are until we see the light. Seeing the light usually means seeing the world the way we see it. Tolerance may be a more helpful mood than intolerance, but it won’t be helpful if we interchange or confuse it with acceptance.

Courage vs. denial
Courage is required to act when we’re afraid. When we realize that we need to make a request or have a conversation that may produce temporary upset in the relationship, we’ll either pluck up the courage for the conversation or deny that it is necessary. Maybe it will go away. Most of us intuitively realize that the conversation won’t go away, but our naïve hope may move us in that direction.

Tenderness vs. meanness
I don’t know anyone who would describe themselves as mean. Yet the capacity lives in us all. When we are frustrated, tired, hungry, angry, we can bring it out. What makes tenderness so valuable in intimate relationships is that it brings safety. Safety allows conversations which would otherwise be impossible. Safety allows intimacy. Will you choose tenderness or meanness in a moment of strain?

Curiosity vs. righteousness
Curiosity = I acknowledge that there may be something of value for me in this area. In conversation with your partner you may believe that you understand their motivations and choices. But are you willing to get curious to check and deepen your understanding? Do you assume that you know and stay attached to what you think you know? Or do you become flexible to listen and inquire?

Joy vs. excitement
Our contemporary view of intimate relationships has a strong basis in excitement. Excitement comes from Latin meaning “to set in motion outside of ourselves”. Excitement pulls us to ever-increasing high points. Our nervous systems crave going just a little higher. By contrast, joy is a steady sense of wellbeing that is satisfying in itself. Excitement in a relationship is elemental, but a relationship based on excitement will not sustain itself.

Commitment vs. expectation
Commitments are promises that we make explicitly. And we demonstrate commitment through action. Expectation comes from Latin meaning “await or hope”. Many of us live with the illusion that if our partner has made some commitments to us, then whatever we expect will come to pass. An interesting exercise is to ask yourself what specifically you and your partner have promised in the relationship. Everything beyond that is your expectation, your story of what your partner will do or what will happen in your relationship. This exercise will make you realize the degree to which you live in expectation. And often the degree to which you want to hold your partner accountable for your expectations rather than for the promises that you made.

Work and play
The question of these moods is one of balance. Work is activity with attachment to an outcome. Play is activity without the attachment. Play doesn’t intend to produce anything except fun. An excess or deficit of either in your relationship can create either gravity and profound seriousness or triviality. Consider the balance.

If all these moods show up in our intimate relationships,
it is obvious that the models we’ve had in contemporary music, greeting cards, and movies don’t begin to address the depth of the emotional field. There is no wonder that we meet, date, engage, marry, and then are disappointed that the moods of the relationship aren’t eternally sunny and light. That has been set up as an expectation, but it was never a promise. The word relationship comes from a root meaning to bring back, to reconnect, to retell. In this light revisiting the moods of your intimate relationships provides fertile ground for much higher satisfaction in a key area of your life.

Not all people can do it alone. Many people, especially men, need a helping hand. Do you? Let’s start a conversation.

Why do high end companions have a reputation for being greedy? And how do their clients feed the greed? 

High end companions inflate their worth
Is any football / hockey player worth several thousands of currency per week? Are high end female companions, courtesans, mistresses worth thousands per hour? Human life is irreplaceable and timeincreases in value. But I still believe that the answer is no. Yet many men with more [corporate?] money than common sense don’t care about how much they throw at high end female companions as long as these men get what they desire.

Good living, hankering for ever more excitement, and the need for ego massage happen on spontaneous impulses. And spontaneous impulses exclude thinking about consequences of actions done during them. If men comply with these women’s claims for high end gifts, that is precisely how men encourage those women’s greed. Is there any wonder why those women are so greedy? Or why men complain about how much high end companions charge?

How do high end female companions claim the right to claim gifts
in addition to the fees for their company? I’ve seen high end companions dedicate pages of their websites to gifts. And many even link to the websites that stock the gifts to make their purchases more convenient for their clients! How do they claim the right? Based on the fact that someone once gifted them and that created inspiration for them to claim gifts thereafter? Or based on the fact that they got away with it once or a few times and came to take it for granted instead of being eternally grateful every time? Perhaps based on a colleague of theirs having told them that she got away with it and advised that they tried it?

Is it a marketing technique?
Or do these greedy high end companions dedicate pages of their websites to claiming gifts as a marketing device to make their image and status look more credible? Even if that were true, these women’s disrespect for their clients won’t change no matter how we look at it. A gift should always be a gift, not a product of dictation. So if they market gifting by dictation, they market their manipulative characters. And also the image of treating men as objects via which to achieve their ends. But then these women shouldn’t cry when their clients get the message and start treating them as millionaires’ bimbo pendants, because gift for act = tit for tat. If you invite to manipulate, you equally invite to be manipulated!

Gentlemen, don’t feed high end companions’ greed!
I see this practice as totally unethical and disrespectful to the clients of high end companions! The principle of giving is identical to that of tipping. Tipping should be at the client’s discretion, not at the service provider’s dictation. If a client wishes to tip for good service or give a gift on his initiative as a token of appreciation, the best and most respectful thing that high end companions can do is to gracefully accept it with sincere thanks. But not with the attachment of starting to take this for granted and expecting it to become the norm!

The societies to which this forceful gift-claiming practice applies have lost the plot on this. Yet they’re usually the very ones which talk about materialism and greed being bad things! Just look at restaurants. Not only do they inform you on the bill that an x per cent service charge has been added to the bill, but waiters still give you dirty looks if you don’t tip them! Outrageous!

Besides, who can tell me why on earth waiting, hairdressing, taxi driving, and hotel portering professionals should be singled out for tipping? Why would you never tip your accountant, lawyer, or drycleaner for excellent service? Does this not fly in the face of all calls for equality? Waiters, hairdressers, taxi drivers, hotel porters choose their careers and accept the employment with the wages, warts and all. So there’s no excuse for tipping any of them versus others unless the service really has been exceptional. But that is very rarely the case.

There’s a science
[albeit not rocket science] behind this phenomenon. This practice is one that should honestly be stopped! If men want to give a woman a gift, that’s fine. But if you’re a man reading this, do it only if you want to, not based on a high end companion’s dictation. Remember that you’re voting with your money every time you spend it and you’re voting with your energy every time you take action. So vote wisely. Don’t encourage these greedy practices with your vote! Don’t vote for these greedy companions to stay in operation!

And if you feel too weak to say no, or if you would feel guilty or mean, then let’s look at how you could change your perspective!

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How are we redefining giving in our prosperous world? What’s making us rethink our forms of giving when we’re having it so good in life? And why do so many successful men leave giving to themselves till who knows when?

Giving thanks
Despite many affairs of the world going downhill and an economy that could be even better many people in many countries are thankful. Unexpected layoffs, financial setbacks, or a desire to spend more time with the near and dear have served as a reality check. A wakeup call for people to rethink their idea of wealth and prosperity. People focus more on satisfaction by the quality of life than on satisfaction by consumption. The big shift is in people questioning whether the ways in which they spend time bring them higher satisfaction than things that need to be done on autopilot. More moneydoesn’t necessarily lead to more happiness. So many people are getting off the hedonistic treadmill and looking for ways to realign with family and other values that matter to them.

Different things to different people
For some people that means starting a business that allows more flexibility even if it means less money. The learning is that money is here today gone tomorrow, but life experiences stay with us. I’ve seen friendships end because people’s coaches said “that’s not the right circle to be in”. Although many people have received similar advice focused on building wealth, they want none of it now. Albeit there will always be people who will focus on accumulating wealth, the focus of more and more people isn’t on pursuing financial wealth, but wealth of experiences.

For others redefining wealth and prosperity may mean downshifting their careers. After almost losing their children and spouses many people trade their high-flying professional careers for simpler jobs. The most ambitious types admit that they’re happy with their decisions, but still sometimes struggle to maintain balance. Their personalities are very driven and to stop working and put the families first is a constant effort. Working as x doesn’t pay as much as did the previous job, but people appreciate more time and holidays with their loved ones. Although these high-flying pros’ former jobs meant frequent travels to nice hotels, they never allowed time to enjoy them.

Giving
In addition to rethinking their careers some people have also scaled back on holiday gifts. Their children get one gift from the parents, one from Santa, and a few from other family members. These people see their friends go crazy with gifts for the kids and believe that this approach just feeds materialism and entitlement. These parents hope to model generosity and selflessness to their kids. So they put money into good causes for their communities instead of buying gifts that would likely gather dust.

While some givers choose donations in lieu of presents, others buy experiential gifts. This option has grown in popularity. Taking a family member out for lunch, treating a friend to a movie, or calling me to give a massage to a spouse or relative are good examples. People give more time-based gifts and make gifts. From the viewpoint of time this is one of the best gifts that someone can give, because it shows that the giver cares about the receiver.

A friend in London made me this series of (pictured) gifts by hand from wood over 30 hours a piece over several years. Would this gentleman go to this extent if he didn’t care about me? Many other friends have given me gifts of experiences: a lunch, dinner, weekend away, show, etc. Others gave me gifts of food, jewellery, and many other things. Artistic friends even gave me cards with poems or verses which they wrote. The poems and verses were symbolic of my personality or connected to my life, etc.

Giving to yourself is important too!
Giving to ourselves reminds us of why we work and that we’re here to enjoy life. It motivates us and brings sparkles into life. It gives us things to look forward to. And that’s important. So once you’ve sorted gifts out for everyone else, how about treating yourself for hard work, being a good citizen, or whatever you achieved? Would a gift to yourself of a few hours of inspiring, entertaining, and caring company hit the spot? Or perhaps even an aromatherapeutic relaxing massage treatment to perk you up? Or even good coaching on a demon that has hampered you for years? If yes, I invite you to be my guest!